


Wrecked

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, in his own Theon way, matchmaking Theon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:17:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15425826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: “You really think she will agree to a date?” Jon asked.“Uh, yes!” Theon replied, unable to resist rolling his eyes. Seeing Jon’s unconvinced grimace, he sighed, raising two fingers to point at his eyes and then to Jon. “Eye contact man. It means you either want to fight or fuck but either way you get wrecked.” He jerked his head in Sansa’s direction. “I doubt she’s thinking about fighting you when she’s staring at your ass.”





	Wrecked

“You’re pathetic!” Theon grumbled, chucking a crisp at Jon’s head.

Jon blinked at the offending item, a slight frown creasing between his eyes before he lifted his gaze once more. He didn’t even gift Theon with a look, his eyes focused firmly on Sansa across the room.

“I’m going to ask her out,” Jon admitted.

Theon has spent many, many months teasing Jon for his ridiculously obvious crush on Robb’s sister. He had always liked winding Jon up with frankly filthy suggestions for him to try with Sansa. Whenever Sansa was over to visit Robb, Theon would always ask her how the dating scene was going, right in front of Jon.

He liked to think though that while Jon probably hated him and wanted to gut him, he was actually protecting the poor chump. Because Theon knew how Jon worked. He yearned for things but would never take what he felt he didn’t deserve. Not unless pushed into it or asked to back off by someone he loved.

So, in Theon’s mind, winding Jon up to the point of now, where his mate was finally showing some nerve and gearing up to ask his girl out, had been a complete success.

“I think she’ll say yes,” Theon said, genuine and soft. Jon finally looked at him with a quirked brow and Theon rolled his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I can be nice!”

“When you want something,” Jon replied, his eyes back on Sansa.

“I do want something,” Theon responded. “I want to be able to eat without your lovesick puppy eyes making me want to throw up all the damn time.”

“You really think she will agree to a date?” Jon asked.

“Uh, yes!” Theon replied, unable to resist rolling his eyes. Seeing Jon’s unconvinced grimace, he sighed, raising two fingers to point at his eyes and then to Jon. “Eye contact man. It means you either want to fight or fuck but either way you get wrecked.” He jerked his head in Sansa’s direction. “I doubt she’s thinking about fighting you when she’s staring at your ass.”

“She stares at my ass?” Jon said, a smug smile forming on his lips. Theon decided he hated that even more than a sulking Jon.

“Maybe she wants to peg you,” he quipped, hoping for the blush and stutter to follow.

“Maybe I’m okay with that,” Jon responded with another smug grin. Theon scowled, annoyed that his riling up of Jon had failed and he was left with this cocky bastard.

He was already regretting saying anything as he watched Jon saunter over to Sansa, watched her blush and nod enthusiastically to whatever stupid line Jon had pulled out his ass to get a date.

Still, he thought as he stuffed another handful of crisps in his mouth, it couldn’t get much worse at least.

***

"God you have pretty eyes," Jon moaned as he cupped her face and giving her a dopey smile as he looked up at her. She giggled, nudging her nose with his, lips still swollen from their make out session on the couch.

"I like yours too," she whispered, grinning when he met her gaze. "Deep, expressive eyes."

"Theon once said eye contact means you basically want to fight or fuck," he whispered.

"But either way you get wrecked," she added in a breathless sigh that made Jon shiver before he realised her words and shot her a surprised look. "Yeah, he gave me the 'you're stupid' speech too."

"So, do you wanna fight or fuck?" he asked with a cocky smile, leaning up to gently press his lips to hers. She hummed in approval, smiling back at him as she pulled away.

"Fight you for who tops while fucking?" she teased.

"Perfect compromise," he groaned, pressing a kiss to her clothed shoulder, tugging at the sleeve of her dress so he could access her soft skin underneath. "This is why we're good together. We compromise and ..."

"Stop talking," she muttered before claiming his lips, pushing them apart to plunder his mouth with her tongue.

He gripped her ass, pushing her against him and moaning into their kiss before he collected himself once more and pushed off the couch. Stumbling along the corridor, he managed to make it to his room before they collapsed on his bed in a heap of giggling lust.

***

Theon scowled at the television, punching the volume button harder as the rhythmic banging sounds continued from Jon's room. 

"Ow!" Jon yelped followed by a deep moan. "You wanna play rough sweetheart?"

Sansa squealed at whatever Jon did next, followed by a high pitched chorus of "yes, yes  _yes_!"

"Fuck sake," Theon grumbled, letting his head flop against the sofa as he stared up at the ceiling, willing this torture to end.

Sansa's cries of ecstasy, the chanting of Jon's name accompanied by even louder banging told him that perhaps his wish was about to come true. 

Sure enough, all went quiet and Theon breathed a sigh of relief, pressing the rewind button to get his programme back to where it was before those two horny mofos had decided to wreck Jon's room with their crazy sexcapades.

He settled back into the cushions, glad of the peace at last as he hit play.

"Again?!" Sansa cried out suddenly, her laugh bleeding into a moan before a squeak told him that Jon had likely moved on top of her for another round.

"I'm not wrecked yet!" Jon replied.

Theon rolled his eyes. Turns out there were worse things than a brooding Jon Snow and a lovesick Jon Snow.

A Jon Snow who got laid was definitely Theon's worst nightmare.

 


End file.
